Myths about counselling

There are several myths associated with counselling:

1) Counsellors are there to give advice
Generally we don’t. You are the expert on yourself. Nobody knows what is best for you – but you do. Only you know what is best for you and I will provide a safe and encouraging place for you to work this out.

2) It will be the same as if I was talking to a friend
It’s not. Your friend will want you to feel better, they will probably give advice to you that they think will help you. But we are all different and what is helpful for them may not be helpful for you. In counselling the focus will be on you – you will be free to speak openly and honestly. I will not be judging you – you will be free to talk about whatever you want even if its something you may feel ashamed of.

3)You have to be in crisis to need therapy
Counselling can help in many ways not only at times of crisis when you may need emergency support. Some people may feel puzzled about their behaviour or finding themselves in repeated destructive relationships. I can help you explore your thoughts and feelings and work with you on your personal development.

4) Counselling goes on for years
Not so. You will know when it is time to finish counselling this could be 4-6 weeks for short-term work or possibly longer in order to explore deeper issues. You will be in the driving seat and may plan with me to finish the counselling when you feel the time is right for you.

5) Counselling is a very serious matter and laughter is not allowed
Not so. Of course, there is a right time for genuine laughter and then times when it might be covering up another less comfortable feeling which it would be important to follow up and explore.

Why you are here…

We can all become overwhelmed at times with feelings of hopelessness and sadness. However by considering counselling you are taking the first step in being pro-active and doing something about how you feel.

These feelings may be include anxiety, depression and confusion. You may have suffered a bereavement, redundancy or divorce, or loss in your life which may at the moment lack any meaning or purpose. This may have put pressure on relationships which you now wish to improve. You may feel you do not know which way to turn and although friends and family may be supportive you may not be able to confide in them or say the things you would really like to in case they get to know the “real” you, who may feel they are not coping at the present time. This may also be affecting your health with symptoms of loss of appetite, insomia, lack of motivation and a loss of interest in life in general.

My goal in counselling is to provide a safe, confidential place for you to talk freely. I shall provide a cofidential, non-judgemental space in which you will be able to gain insight and self-awareness. We can explore together and find ways to improve how you feel and your situation.

Bereavement counselling

The death of a loved one can be a very lonely and painful experience. It can help to share these feelings of loss and grief with me.

You may be experiencing difficulty in accepting the reality of the loss. I can help you to work through the  pain of grief and emotionally adjust to life without your loved one.

If you have recently had a bereavement and lost someone very dear to you life may be a struggle. You may find that you cannot talk about the deceased without intense feelings of grief. Also a relatively minor event can trigger an intense grief reaction in you and every day life is proving difficult. If you recognise yourself here you may benefit from bereavement counselling.

Working with me, I can assist you to work through the pain and grief. To help you fully acknowledge the reality of the loss and work through the feelings of the loss adjusting to an environment in which the deceased is missing and finding ways to memorialise the person who died in ways that are appropriate for you. The counselling will enable you to strengthen your own inner resources leading to life being more manageable for you.

I have trained in Bereavement Counselling and have worked at Bromley Bereavement Counselling Services.

Specialist in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help you find and maintain better coping strategies that are more productive and less destructive for you.

Some of the  goals of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) are to help relieve the symptoms that have been distressing you and to resolve some of the problems through discussion. CBT helps you view these problems using a different perspective.

To help you modify underlying ways of thinking in order to help prevent relapsing into old ways of coping that have proved unhelpful in the past.

Please note that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may not be the right approach for you. CBT is only one area of counselling, I am trained in many different types of counselling which may suit your needs better.

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